Accept Your Weaknesses by Bro. Bo Sanchez

  This will be short.

       Let me begin with one of my favorite stories…

       On her way home, a woman was walking on the sidewalk.  She saw a parrot in a pet shop window.  Upon seeing her, the parrot said, “Lady, you are really ugly!”

       Shocked, the woman walked away in a huff.

       The next day, she walked again on the same road.  She saw again the parrot peering through the pet shop window.  And sure enough, when the parrot saw her, it said, “Lady, you are really ugly!”

       The woman couldn’t take it anymore…

       She barged in the pet shop and told the owner, “Your bird outside has been telling me that I’m ugly.  You better do something about that parrot.  When I walk here tomorrow, and that bird says the same thing about me, I’ll sue you!”  The owner was very apologetic and said, “It won’t happen again, Ma’am.”

       The next day, she walked home on that same road.  Once again, she sees the parrot, and the parrot sees her.  She stopped and with an icy stare asked, “Yes?”

       The bird, strutting back and forth, cocked, “You know.”

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect To Love Yourself

       Friends, many of us have an inner parrot that tells us, “You’re ugly.”

       We have an inner parrot that we carry around within us, cruel and rude.  We actually don’t need the devil anymore to accuse us and damn us to Hell.  Because we do it ourselves.

       These feelings of shame drive us to our addictions.

       Friend, fire your inner parrot.  (Better yet, fry him with olive oil, a little garlic, and chilli.)

       Start telling yourself the truth: That you’re God’s child and beautiful beyond imagination.  And that God will use even your worst weaknesses.

       Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

Your Weakness Is A Gift

       In the Bible, St. Paul boasted of his “Thorn in the Flesh”. 

       It was his weakness.

But whatever it was, about this weakness, he said these immortal, mind-boggling words.  “At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”  (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

       How can your weakness be gift?

Your Weakness Blesses You In 3 Great Ways

          First, my weaknesses humble me.  It makes me depend in God even more.  And I see how He uses me mightily despite all my weaknesses!  That is why the Bible says, God chooses what the world considers weak in order to shame the powerful. (1 Corinthians 1:27)

Second, my weaknesses make me more merciful towards others.  I believe that someone who easily judges others hasn’t yet accepted his own weaknesses.  If he had, he wouldn’t be judgmental.  But because he hasn’t, he projects his self-anger towards other people.

Third, my weaknesses bond me with others in a way that nothing else can.  When I share the story of my past and my addiction to someone else, I disrobe my defences and become vulnerable to him.  In this way, I also give permission to that person to disrobe his defences as well.

          Friend, thank God for your weaknesses, your struggles, and your problems.

          They are great gifts that will bless you and others.

Next week, I’ll share with you the third way of loving yourself.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Learn to Forgive Yourself by Bro. Bo Sanchez

 For years, I would fall into habitual sins.  And when I did, I had a hard time believing that God would still forgive me.  I was filled with disgust.  I was so fed up with my sin, I figured He was fed up with me too.  I projected onto Him my disgust and imagined that He was tired of forgiving me again and again.

       Yet every time I prayed, something in me would say, “God isn’t like that.”  And deeper in my heart, I would hear His voice say, “Bo, nothing you do can ever diminish my love for you.”

       These words burned within me.  I searched the Bible and found these words…and claimed them for myself.

For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. (Jeremiah 31:34)

I am he that blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and will not remember your sins. (Isaiah 43:25)

If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  (Romans 8:1)

       Ultimately, it was this incredible love that healed me of my addiction.

Can You Be As Forgiving To Yourself?

       In one large gathering, a young woman came up to me and asked, “Can you hear my confession?”  I shook my head, “I’m sorry, I’m not a priest.”  But I saw desperation in her eyes as she told me, “But can I still confess my sins to you?”

“I can listen to you, pray for you, but I can’t absolve your sins,” I said.

She said, “That’s fine.  I just need someone to talk to…”  We walked to a corner of the hall and she poured her heart to me, sharing her guilt to me.  As she did so, I felt an urging from God to tell her, “My dear friend, God loves you more than you can ever imagine,” and she began to cry almost uncontrollably.

She said, “Bo, I know God loves me.  But I don’t love myself.  I know God forgives me.  But I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done.”

Through the years, I’ve met many people like her who already asked for God’s forgiveness, but can’t seem to forgive themselves. Even if the Bible says, Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful,[1] funny how people aren’t merciful to themselves.

       So I told her, “Then you’re very proud of your sin.”

       Her eyes bulged, obviously shocked. 

“What did you say again?” she asked.

Are You Proud Of Your Sin?

       I told her, “You fall into pride on three counts.  First, you seem to think that your sin is bigger than God’s love for you.  That’s pride.  Friend, God’s love is bigger than your sin…”

 “And second, you seem to think that your moral standards are higher than God’s standards.  That’s pride.  Allow Him to love you in your brokenness.  And give yourself permission to love YOU.  And third…”

“Did I hear it right?  Give myself permission to love me?” 

I knew that those words were new to her.

“Yes!  And third, all this time, you’ve been focusing on your sin.  Am I right?”

She nodded.

“You think God wants you to grieve and wallow in guilt?  You’re wrong.  When you focus on your sin, you’re not focusing on God.  Focus on God.  Focus on God’s love for you.  Or you fall into despair.”  I began to think of Judas and how despair killed him.

The Bible says Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  (Proverbs 16:18)

       How do we fall?  Let me count the ways…

What Happens If You Don’t Forgive Yourself

If you don’t forgive yourself, you may have these problems…

o   You’ll have unresolved guilt nagging you

o   You’ll always be recalling past failures

o   You’ll be pessimistic and negative, or even suffer from chronic depression

o   You’ll be seeking revenge toward yourself at different times

o   You’ll manifest self-destructive behaviors.

o   You’ll be disrespectful towards yourself

o   You’ll be indifferent toward yourself and your needs

o   You’ll be defensive and exhibit distant behavior towards others

o   You’ll be controlled by your fear of failure, rejection, and non-approval

o   You’ll have an emotional vacuum in which little or no emotions are shown

o   You’ll be suspicious about others’ motives when they’re accepting of you

o   You’ll experience chronic hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism

It is a sad life! 

Make a decision now to forgive yourself now.

Before Anything Else, Discern:

Are They Real Sins Or Imagined Sins?

       Before we even forgive ourselves—or even ask forgiveness from God—answer one question.  Have you really sinned against God?  Or have you just failed someone else’s standards?

       Sometimes, we can set up our selves for big-time guilt by making lots of rules that God never wanted us to make.

For example, in the 1980’s, I used to teach my community members this spiritual regimen: To pray one hour a day, read the Bible one hour a day, and read other spiritual books one hour a day—for a total of 3 hours a day.  I also encouraged them to go for daily Mass, daily Rosary, and an hour before the Blessed Sacrament.   I was still a young teen then, and I could certainly do all of that, but I was oblivious to the fact that my members had jobs and kids to take care of.  Boy, did I set them up for a very long guilt trip!  (Forgive me, Lord.)  None of them could ever measure up to my standards.  But those rules that I made were just mine, not God’s rules.  (Leaders need to be careful not to set people up to discouragement, or we rob them of joy in their life with God.)

 I also remember a woman who felt guilty for disappointing her husband again and again.  She would constantly ask for forgiveness from God for being a terrible wife.  But when she described her husband to me, I instantly knew that he was the problem.  He wanted his clothes to be pressed in a particular way, his egg cooked in a particular way, his newspaper laid out on the table each morning in a particular way.  And if his wife will not do it in this particular way, he labelled her as a disappointing wife.  Not true!  I told her that she has not sinned and there was nothing to ask forgiveness from God.

But if we have indeed sinned against God, then let us take these next two steps…

Forgive Yourself Now!

       Pray this prayer…

Step #1: Ask God For Forgiveness

Lord, forgive me now, in Jesus name.  Forgive me for all my sins and failures.  I believe You love me.  I believe that Your love is bigger than my sins and failures.  Today, I receive your forgiveness.  Thank you for loving me!

Step #2: Forgive Yourself

Today, I make a choice to forgive ME.  I know that God has forgiven me.  I don’t have to be perfect for me to love ME.  I am a very good person because God made me very good. As God loves me, so do I love ME.  I no longer need to condemn me.  I am forgiven by God, and I forgive ME, in Jesus name.  Amen.

       Next week, I’ll share with you the second step of how to love yourself…

       May your dream comes true,

       Bo Sanchez